"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Children ask better questions than adults. “May I have a cookie?” “Why is the sky blue?” and “What does a cow say?” are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than “Where’s your manuscript?” Why haven’t you called?” and “Who’s your lawyer?” " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"My favorite animal is steak. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz