"I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. " ~~ Joan Rivers
"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. " ~~ Joan Rivers
"I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. " ~~ Joan Rivers
"He who limps is still walking. " ~~ Joan Rivers
"Your anger can be 49% and your comedy 51 %, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51%, the comedy is gone." ~~ Joan Rivers