"My grandfather always said, ‘Don’t watch your money; watch your health.’ So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. " ~~ Jackie Mason
"What is the worst sickness? A bad neighbor." ~~ Mivchar Hapeninim
"The less you eat, the less sick you will be." ~~ Zabara
"I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either. " ~~ Jack Benny
"Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character. " ~~ Oscar Levant
"The soul is the light of the body." ~~ N. Amram
"When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. " ~~ Henry Youngman
"Jealousy rots the bones. " ~~ Proverbs (Mishle) 14:30
"A lot of wine is harmful but a little is good." ~~ Derekh Eretz R.
"Sickness of the spirit is worse than sickness of the flesh." ~~ Tsori Hayagon
"The door which does not open to the poor will open to the physician." ~~ Levi, Pesikta Rabbati
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. " ~~ Henry Youngman
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