"We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don’t think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time. " ~~ Art Buchwald
"I”ve had great success being a total idiot. " ~~ Jerry Lewis
"Make sure to be in with your equals if you’re going to fall out with your superiors." ~~ Traditional Proverb
"There’s nothing funny about flying to Houston." ~~ Albert Brooks
"Let’s have some new cliches." ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
"Never go to bed mad – Stay up and fight. " ~~ Phyllis Diller
"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. " ~~ Woody Allen
"I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest." ~~ Rodney Dangerfield
"The fixity of a habit is generally in direct proportion to its absurdity. " ~~ Marcel Proust
"Eighty percent of success is showing up." ~~ Woody Allen
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not the color, but to accept God’s final decision on where your lips end." ~~ Jerry Seinfeld
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT”S relativity. " ~~ Albert Einstein
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