"Everybody likes a kidder but nobody loans him money. " ~~ Arthur Miller
"Sports is the toy department of human life. " ~~ Howard Cosell
"I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house. " ~~ Traditional Proverb
"A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
"My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn’t pay his bill gave me six months more. " ~~ Walter Matthau
"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television? " ~~ Art Buchwald
"It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like. " ~~ Jackie Mason
"You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"Humility is no substitute for a good personality. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
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