"It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. " ~~ Jerry Seinfeld
"Who is the person that bares his nakedness here and it is beheld everywhere? The man that writes something and errs in writing it." ~~ Yehuda Ben Tibbon
"The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be." ~~ Jerry Seinfeld
"It is follly to listen at the door, and the clever man regards this as a very shameful thing." ~~ Ben Sira 21:24
"Just as the world cannot exist without livelihood, so it cannot be without miracles and wonders." ~~ Shocher Tov
"Looks explain words." ~~ [adapted from] Moses Ibn Ezra
"When you die, you will take your sins to the grave with you and leave your money behind to your kin." ~~ Mivchar Hapeninim
"Many voices are not heard, but the barking which accompanies them is." ~~ Samuel Joseph Agnon
"Let the wicked forwake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord that He may have mercy!" ~~ Isaiah (Yesha’yahu) 55:7
"Every slanderer estranges the Divine Presence. " ~~ Deuteronomy (Devarim) R.
"Be very careful in teaching, for an error in teaching is tantamount to a willful transgression." ~~ Sayings of the Fathers 4:13
"If a man says: I will sin and the Day of Atonement will atone for me, then that Day will not atone for him." ~~ Yoma 8:9
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